Strange Dream .....

Time : sore menjelang malam
Place : ini yang agak aneh.... harusnya bertempat di skul g dulu SMUN 16 palmerah,
tapi ternyata lokasinya tuh kaya FK-Trisakti yg ada digrogol n jalan raya didepan skul itu
seperti jalan raya di depan FK-Trisakti, parkiran didepan skul ky pelataran parkirnya SMU 78 ruang dalem skul ga tau ruang apaan tp ky rumah bunda aNissa Setiadi...


semalem gw ngimpi yg agak2 aneh or biasa krn namanya jg mimpi apapun bs ada ga da yg ga mungkin..didalem mimpi itu gw balik lagi jd anak sma kynya saat itu ingatan gw kumpul jadi satu...masa lalu n sekarang(untuk tempat2nya) .yang aneh lagi orang2 yg ada di mimpi itu rata2 lom gw knal baik,paling baru skali ktmu doank ky ada bAma n arsy anak MB n 1 lg dari ank MB tp g ga tau namanya g ktmu dy pas kumpul ma ank MB di blok M plaza yg g inget g knal hanya mereka,nyokap gw n (alm)bokap gw??? ....

Awalnya gw,bAma n temenya yg pake kcmta n ada 6 org lagi melakukan gerak jalan dari terminal grogol (klo ga salah) sampe ke lokasi yaitu smu kita smua,padahal kita smua ga 1 smu,n stelah g liat papan nama skolah itu bkn smu gw tp tulisannya SMUN 6 sampe sekarang g masih bingung knp yah??
Kynya kita gy ada acar gitu dskul ky perpisahan or acara pentas seni gtu ga jelas deh pokoknya...

Pas nyampe depan skul yg ky parkiran 78 itu,kita ngobrol2 dulu... ga lama si aRsy dateng dgn mobilnya...
trus dy gabung ma kita ngobrol2.... setelah itu yg g bs inget karena itu ud sore waktu gerak jalan itu
jd ga kerasa tau2 ud malem...

Trus kita masuk ke dalem skul, dan ternyata didalem itu ada nyokap gw n (alm)bokap gw n yg lainnya.. suasananya ky acara kawinan gtu,,critanya gy pada makan gtu.. ga tau knp (alm) bokap gw gy makan kynya keburu2 gtu,,dy ud slesai makan n buru2 pengen blk.. akhirnya gw ma nyokap gw ikut kluar nganterin (alm) bokap gw itu... tau ga LUcunya stelah ud mo sampe pinggir jalan raya gw liat
sendal nyokap gw yg kanan ma yg kiri tuh laen (hahahaha).. yg kanan sendal bokap gw yg dulu pernah gw pake yg kiri ga tau sendal siapa??(asal pake kli dy hehehe).. n yg lbi parah lg ternyata gw ga pke sendal/sepatu a.K.a NYEKER kakakakak... trus nyokap gw ngomong suruh ambilin sendalnya tp gw males
ya ud akhirnya kita nungguin bokap tanpa saling bicara 1 sama lain.....
Akhirnya ada bis lewt yg ga jelas gtu bentuk n isinya krn g ga bs liat jelas orang apa bukan yg ada di dlm bis itu.. dan bokap gw pamit ma gw n nyokap gw dan saat itulah gw terbangun oleh kencengnya bunyi weker(yg kedengeran sampe luar rmh gw klo ga gw matiin hehehe) ternyata ud jam 6 pagi brarti tuh weker ud bunyi slama 1/2 jam...
Gatau knp saat g bangun gw nagis ga bs brenti.. akhirnya g langsung bangun n turun k bawah(kamr gw ada di Lt.atas) saat turun tangga pun gw hampir ga bs nahan nangis ga tau knp, g langsung kekamar mandi buang air kecil trus wudhu byar mata g ga terlalu kliatan n buru2 naik byar ga da yg liat lgsg sLt subuh krn waktunya ud telat bgt...
Setelah selesai gw langsung do'a wat (alm) bokap gw,saat gw baca do'a itu gw ga bs brenti nangis sampai akhirnya gw selesai do'a trus ngelipet sarung n sajadah gw baru saat itu jg gw bs brenti nangis...
mimpi yang aneh.. mungkin gw kngen kli yah ma bokap gw????????

Lifee????

what is the meaning of this life??
is it to get wealthy??
is it to get better life??
or is it to achieve greatness in life??

I get tired thinkin' of it
I got my mind full of questions
questions that 'til now...
I haven't found the answers...

sometimes in my deepest thoughts
in my darkest hours...
I remember what Soe Hok Gie's words

" the best luck is never be born
second is to die in the age of so young
and the worst is to die in late age.. "

yes...
it was very pesimistic of me
coz' I haven't found a single clue
for what should I do with this life I was going through...

all I know..
I haven't done enough..
inFACT, it will never be enough

I'm just gonna do my best
for my family...
for my friends...
for everyone that I love..
and for my self..

wish this spirit will never gone.....

there's so much to think
there's so much to write
there's so much to tell
But there's much wasted time doing all that

so much love given for me
so much love I had to give
so much love in my heart
but is there someone that I can share this love with???

now I feel I'm alone
I feel that no one cares
I feel nobody would understand
What am I doing now??
I'm struggle in this pathetic life
fighting my other destructive self

for now...
I have to think about the path
...the path I have to take
don't know where It'll take me to
but I know that I have to choose
and I hope It was the right one

and...tomorrow...???
well,,
Tomorrow is just another day...
the day of struggle for a better life......